Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

Featured in Collections

Literature by Copperfrost

Literature Favorites by GeekGirl11


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
January 8, 2013
File Size
383 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
390
Favourites
21 (who?)
Comments
30
×
If days were sad,
I wish I could turn back time.
If days were happy,
I still wish I could turn back time.
So do I wish to turn time,
everyday?
And if... it were possible,
to turn back time,

I wouldn't be the person,
I am today...
This is my first time uploading literature on DA, so I hope its not too bad. This was taken out from a little book that I keep under my bed, filled with personal poems. Simple, I know. This was the first poem in there, so it's a little dated.

It's just a litte thought that's been running through my mind nearly my entire life. I'm sure, there are times in everyones lives, where they have just screwed up, and wished that they could take it back, and ofcourse, times where they just have the best times in their life, that they wish they could do it all again.

This is the question, if you had the chance to turn time, would you? To re-live the many important moments in your life. If I had that chance, I know that there are many mistakes I would have never made, but, you see... Its those mistakes that make me, me.

And if I hadn't gone through what I have, I wouldn't be where I am. Ofcourse, its different for everyone, but think about it.

(^_^)
Poem by me.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconchristiangamer:
christiangamer Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a really good poem.
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you dear~ I'm glad you liked and favorited it! Oh and welcome to deviantART! ^^
Reply
:iconchristiangamer:
christiangamer Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you.
Reply
:iconbullcross:
Bullcross Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Madame... I can't read your name in Japanese, so I will call you Madame Olivia, this is by far one of the best works I've seen on DA. I can only wonder why this is not on the front page, and some other crap is. It makes one think about the past and the decisions he made... A suggestion: Add rhyme and a block structure and it will be brilliant. *bows, kisses your virtual hand and leaves*
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ohhh! I don't deserve your kind words! Really! They are words more fitting for a piece much more well written than that of mine! *blushes red*
Thank you for the word of support and advice! I feel like a million dollars right now! Ahh yes, there is rhyme, but very little (and too simple for mosts taste) but I'll take your suggestions and try and improve on my literature!

When you mean block structure, are you saying get rid of the short verses and just put it as one whole text? (Because I can do that if it means it will be more grammically correct. Thank you again! And thanks for the favorite too! ^^

Oh and my name written in katakana would be pronounced as "Oh-ri-bi-ah" (thanks mom, for naming me an english name..) *Gives virtual hug*
Reply
:iconbullcross:
Bullcross Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, by block structure I mean exactly that :). I just feel it would be better for smaller poems with short verses, but your chosen structure is also possible. I am really glad I made you feel nice, it makes me feel very helpful...
And thanks for that wacht - I will do the same and comment on every literature piece you post - you seem to have a phylosophical point of view on things, which is really interesting.
Have a nice day, Madame Orhibiah. (I hope I got that right)
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha Olivia is just fine, yes ok, I'll change it, it does make sense. And yes, I just love literature so much, I don't know why, I just enjoy reading the clever ways the poets use certain techniques to create different effects, or to create a most beautiful visual with only words.

My favorite is either romantice poetry or poetry that just... makes you think and go into deep thought. Well, thats just me, and no problem watching you! I like your pieces too (I can't read the you language either, but I can read the english ones). Yes you were helpful, thank you!
Reply
:iconthecrazymagnet:
thecrazymagnet Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013   Writer
I think about this a lot. If I could do things over, I'd be able save myself a lot of pain. But you're absolutely right about mistakes making the person - many say true art comes from pain, after all, and every mistake is a learning experience. Not a perfectly constructed poem, but a very mature and powerful argument.
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha yes, I think you just said it all. We all wish we could have gone through life without all those troubles, but... its those troubles that make us stronger and make us who we are.

Thank you for the comment, and for taking your time to read darling~! ^^
Reply
:iconthecrazymagnet:
thecrazymagnet Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013   Writer
Anytime :) good luck with future works, I'm sure they'll be great!
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Writer
Very nice :3

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aww... you also favorited... *dies of either happiness or shock* Feels special when a pro likes your work...
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Does it now? xD

-Captain Chen of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're lying!!! Please don't lie to me!!! *hides under blanket* Its a poor excuse for poetry! And... when compaired to yours... *burries self*
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Professional Writer
Proof is in my newest submission, I was inspired by the concept of time ^^

-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates :iconwordofchen:
Reply
:iconengimaticndn:
EngimaticNDN Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
time as a way of passing, yet for the one who turns back time, where would you go?

as the choice can be infinite, as we know where we went wrong, will we change our path?

and will we make a different mistake, and will we go back an change that?

as we look at the twilight we wander, as we ponder for what we have done.

we go back to where we started, maybe it might not be right, but we want to try and make a change.

still we want to try, as we are mortal and mortals have the mortality of wanting the right the wrong

even if it is good or bad.

Craig Allen
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha for a moment, I thought you wrote that, seeing as how you already write great poetry yourself. But yes, time is a thing to ponder, I use to waste my time playing video games for hours on end.

I found no time for doing the things that I loved the most like drawing and writing. Everyone wants to change their path, but if they hadn't taken that path in the first place, they would have never known.

Ahhh, I'm blubbering about literature again... *shakes head* Thanks again for commenting and favoriting darling! :D
I only wish my pieces were more like yours, more creative, and not as simple. =)
Reply
:iconengimaticndn:
EngimaticNDN Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
:D i did write it

so true with wanting do what we all love. no i want you to blubber about literature, please continue :)
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
KYAHHH!! You did??!! That was wonderful! I thought you were quoting a professional poet! (I really did, you know that) Ohhh so your name is Craig... *face palm*

Really? Continue? Deary dear, if I continue I do not and can not stop. Especially my critques on pieces, usually 500 words more or less! *sweat drop*
Did you publish this poem in DA yet? If not or dont want to, all I want to say is it nice! *over dramatic about poems...* ^.^

But if you wish for me to continue... I enjoy poetry with a great vision, filled with creativity and techniques that are just so clever, they leave that... that smart smirk if you know what I'm talking about. I like yours because of the vision of that twilight and the connectice word of ponder. I know that it means to think, but relating the word to the closest rhyme, I think and see a pond, under the twilight.

Theres more, but if I go on, it might as well be a review/crituque. Sum it up, I love poetry and stories... ahhh... (^_^)
Reply
:iconengimaticndn:
EngimaticNDN Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
Yes more! i enjoy your thoughts, it is nice to hear how much Poetry effects you.

i sounds odd, but i have this hesitant feeling when i comes to publishing my poetry. I want to, but i fear they will be a flop.

I am happy you like what i wrote :hug:
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahhh its almost shameful how much poetry effects me, sometimes I feel like an old man ranting about a really good book that my voice becomes boring after a while. I dunno, to be, poetry is a form of art, but even if a picture is worth a thousand words, there are just some words that can not be drawn on paper.

I like what you wrote. Of course, but what do you mean my "flop"?
Reply
:iconengimaticndn:
EngimaticNDN Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
now i know i would enjoy listening and contemplating on every you talk about. I know i would enjoy listening and of course it would inspire me to keep writing. so true even in picture words said aloud or even to oneself draw the emotion from what you say in mind or to another.

flop? i feel that if i do publish it wouldn't be as other poets of written, i would feel like a joke rather than a poet. I do love the idea, i guess its me.
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You enjoy listening to my radical nonsense?? XDD Everytime I compliment someones poetry, they always seem content afterwords, its because I only comment when I truely like it.

And when I do, the compliments just can't stop from escaping from my mouth. I'm always honest in being critical about literature works, I dunno... I'm such a weird child...

Don't be like that, your poems are nice, as I said, I mistaken it for a professional's (you know, like the poems you would analyse in school written my profs) If you're not content with it, just know that I like it, and others too. Better than my post card sized text... :D

Yeah, keep writing, and once you reached a good place to stand, don't look back.
P.S See a doctor to check out your ears if you like it when I rant so much. XD
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconduniverse13:
Duniverse13 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice poem. I really like it :D. And If I could go back in time , I can undo my wrongs. Even though , I probably shouldn't. I guess that's because my wrongs make me who I am today. Although , I would probably fix things that doesn't make me seem like a jerk. I"m quite friendly , I just get angered where I don't care for my surroundings.
Reply
:iconoliviaotakusama101:
oliviaotakusama101 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
What do you mean where you don't care for your surroundings? Like, trees? *derp face*
But thanks for commenting on this sickly simple poem.
Reply
:iconduniverse13:
Duniverse13 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
...I don't know , I simply feel like anybody who gets in my way , shall face my wrath....even though I get my butt handed to me ,
Every time.....yeah, I'm no fighter. XD
And your welcome :D
Reply
Add a Comment: